You know what the best feeling in the world is?
To let down our walls and be vulnerable.
We put a lot of energy into our walls.
Vulnerability seems like a scary endeavor – especially to those walls of ours.
But being vulnerable = freedom.
It means what we think, feel and say all line up. Our inner and outer reality begin to sync.
But to speak our truth, to reveal our deepest needs and to express how we are really feeling to another – dang – that’s also quite risky.
The person receiving our vulnerability might reject us, judge us, or minimize what we’ve shared.
They could simply not hear us – checking out just when we decide to fully show-up and get real.
Of course, this doesn’t always happen. Lot’s of people show up when we show up. It’s the law of attraction.
But, we are humans with human “imperfect” tendencies. This doesn’t mean you can’t get vulnerable with the people in your life though.
Instead, it means you must choose vulnerability for you.
You must choose to show up as much as possible and be real, be vulnerable, regardless of how others receive you.
Being vulnerable is scary at first. Lean into it. I know you can do it.
Here’s a simple three step process to help you bring more vulnerability into more of your relationships:
- Know what you are feeling.
Keep at least 20% of your attention on YOU when you are relating to others. Feel your body. Where are you tense? Relaxed? Inquire inwardly to see what emotions are simmering inside of you. Get to know what’s going on inside of you from moment to moment to moment.
- Know your inner experience matters.
You are worthy of attention. You deserve to be seen. Your inner experience is important. Pay attention to it. Honor it.
- Own your inner experience and share it outwardly.
When you share what you are really feeling on the inside – especially when it scares you – it invites in deep heart connection, to yourself first, and then with the person you are being vulnerable with.
I love this poem: Wild Geese by Mary Oliver….It speaks to the realm of vulnerability:
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
I want to know who the true you is.